Sometimes...

I haven't been posting lately basically because I feel like I don't have anything to blog about. I'm kind of in a low point right now, and it hasn't been pretty.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. Sometimes I wonder why I decided to live at home. It's not because of my mom or anything like that--I'm just feeling lonely these days. I miss my friends a lot and I wish that I had stayed in Oxford for the year instead of moving back to Jackson. All I do these days it seems is go to work and come home...work out at boot camp if it's a "work out" day.

And work hasn't been great. On the one hand, it's teaching me a lot about "The Real World" (the actual one, not the MTV show, haha). In The Real World, you get told off in front of everyone for something that you didn't really do, or didn't mean to do. In The Real World, you do a lot of work and have a lot of responsibility and don't get paid nearly enough for it. In The Real World, people are generally idiots, but you have to keep a smile on your face anyway. In The Real World, there is no such thing as "speaking freely," because I'm pretty sure I'd've lost my job this afternoon if I'd done so. On the other hand, I'm counting down the weeks (and paychecks) until I'm outta there. I'm ready to be back in school and back in my comfort zone.

So, yes, sometimes, I turn my headphones on at full volume, blasting "Turn Me On" and "Stronger" and "Get Outta My Way" and dancing around like it's my job. Sometimes, I fantasize about what I'll buy and where I'll vacation when I graduate from UVA Law and start making some real money. Sometimes, I come home from work and take a hot shower, crawl into bed, and open a sleeve of Thin Mints. It doesn't make anything much better, but at least it's comfy and tasty.

I'm ready for my two-week break. The day trips to Oxford have NOT been cutting it, and having everything out of sight and out of mind will be absolutely blissful. I'll get to visit UVA and get a glimpse of what Life After Newk's looks like, and I'll get to spend time with my family, and I'll get to sleep a LOT and work out at home while every one is at school/work. It's gonna be awesome. (#plzbbjesusmakethishappen)